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The 25 Sexiest Banned Commercials of All Time [NSFW]

From notorious campaigns at Victoria’s Secret to consistently gratuitous GoDaddy gems to the new orgy of Axe, the advertising industry loves to push the buttons of the FCC to see just how much superfluous sex and inappropriate T&A it can bless us mere mortals with. Following are the 25 sexiest banned ads you won’t see on TV. Internet, we love you.


1. These days we’re so used to Victoria’s Secret ads being the right of every red-blooded male it’s easy to forget was a shock the original 2004 holiday campaign was. Well, maybe a shock for someone. For guys it was Christmas come early.

2. Moving on from the history lesson to the sexiest banned ad in recent memory: Kylie Minogue riding a mechanical bull in nothing but see-through lingerie. After Kylie thoroughly enjoys her time grinding on the bucking machine, she then asks for some participation from the men.

3. Who really knows what this ad is supposed to be making us buy. And who cares. Not to be confused with the magazine, this New Yorker ad takes one very long, sexy strip tease to tell the viewer to wear clothes or something.4. Not to be outdone by Jessica Simpson, Paris upgrades to a Bentley and a burger for her erotic car wash. There might be a word for the simultaneous states of arousal and horror that this Carl’s Jr. ad causes, but hunger isn’t one of them.

5. Don’t blame Hardee’s for copying Carl’s Jr. with this raunchy little ad. This is nothing. They first ran an ad featuring a sexy schoolteacher atop her desk as her young male students rapped about how much they love…buns. Go figure, but authorities freaked.

6. The character in this ad clearly favors meat of another kind. It’s only fair that this would count towards her five-a-day fruit requirement. But that’s really nothing compared to the best commercial of all time from Asia:

7. Eva. Banned. Hot. Forget the one Maxim insists is #1. You don’t get nipples on Wisteria Lane.

8. It’s a big mystery why this commercial featuring a woman straddling her boyfriend and having an orgasm was banned. Oh, yeah, because it’s porn.

9. You have to hand it to GoDaddy for their consistently superb use of superfluous T&A.

10. Not satisfied with that ad getting banned, GoDaddy just keeps trying. This mock CSPAN clip slated for Super Bowl got the chop as well.

11. Doing their part to bring the threesome into the mainstream, Axe made a noble attempt with this short-lived ad.

12. What is it with burger joints using bikini-clad hotties to sell their grub? Meat and booty. It’s a combination every feminist can love, but only if it comes with special sauce. Anyway, in this Burger King “The BK Girls Share Everything” ad, they pretty much do.

13. Microsoft XP goes sexy. Fittingly, they can’t get the bra off.

14. Another shameless attempt from a print magazine to sell copies with a sexy TV ad. This lovely lass clearly doesn’t need that firming cream but her douchebag boyfriend does.

15. More funny than sexy but a few good moments.

16. “The original button fly. Seen in all the wrong places.” If only a guy could be so lucky to be in the wrong place at the right time.

17. It’s an innocent ad promoting the prevention of bruxism. The nudity is clearly necessary. The first and last time anything dental will be this insanely sexy.

18. Of course chicks fight over beer. And then strip. And mud wrestle. And make out. It happens all the time. Amazingly, it never gets old.


19. For a Sprite commercial this is pretty hot. Let’s just say the bikini waxer missed a spot. No wonder the ad got banned.

20. This ad is kind of a tease, which Napster claimed not to be. They can say whatever they want with genius advertisements like these.

21. It’s time for another Victoria’s Secret ad. This one makes 2004 look like a stroll in Abstinenceland. Never has a brand delivered so much for both its female and male customers.

22. Hard to say why this Guess ad got banned. Very, very hard indeed.

23. This ad for Scruff’s hardwear apparel is full of plenty of heavy duty action. It’s actually a great ad – too bad it was banned.

24. This ad from the Vegetarian Society even manages to include a money shot. Apparently vegetarians are all for sexy ads and that’s commendable. Remember the enemy of your enemy is your friend.

And since no vegetable ad is complete without an accompanying banned Alyssa-Milano-in-lingerie-writhing-on-a-bed commercial, here you go.

25. Two seriously hot half-naked girls. Lesbian alert! Axe continues to fight the good fight with another attempt to get around the censors. What’s the big deal? Those girls are just being friendly!